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This morning I was doing my usual morning ritual of checking my email and all my affiliate programs to see if I had made any money online yesterday. I hadnt, in fact I never do, but Ive found its a great way to waste an hour or two. What usually happens is I get sidetracked by some banner or pop-up and I end up lost in the middle of cyberspace signing up for a free registration to some weird website just so I can get a free ebook with a title like Online Profits From Artichoke Juice!. This morning, however, I stumbled across a real winner. I came across a link that I just had to click. I was at JokesUnlimited.com reading redneck jokes when I saw Fun Quizzes: Can you guess which butts are male or female? From the extreme look of excitement in your eyes I can tell that you feel the same way I felt when I saw the Butt Quiz link. My first thought was: Pictures of female butts! Yeeeessss! And its a quiz so I dont have to feel dirty about it. Its educational! Yeeeesssss! I immediately clicked the link and started my quiz. In hindsight(no pun intended), the expression Fools Rush In comes to mind. I blindly rushed into this quiz in a testosterone induced urge to look at female hindparts and I forgot to think the whole thing through. I forgot to take a moment and reflect. I forgot that there were going to be male hindparts on the quiz too. Hairy male hindparts. In thongs. Needless to say, I failed the quiz. I got 8 out of 15 right. Thats about 60 percent. An F in almost all 50 states. Even New Jersey. I, Tim Ward, humor columnist and straight male could not distinguish between the gluteus maximus of the male and female gender. I started to wonder: Were some of the butts that I said were female really male? If so, does that mean I find some mens butts attractive? Do I have a male butt fetsih that I didnt know about? Do I secretly enjoy slapping guys on the butt after a good sports play? And what about the womans butts that I classified incorrectly? Has it really been that long since Ive seen a bare female behind? Am I forgetting what the female body looks like? All these questions have been running through my head since I failed my first Butt Quiz. It got to the point where Im thinking about scheduling a retest. But this time Ill be sure to plenty of studying in advance. So ladies, if you see me taking large hard looks at your posterior region, Im not a pervert, Im just doing a little research. And to the fellas, forgive me if I give more that the usual amount of congratulatory butt slaps on the basketball court for awhile. Im just trying to further my education...And maybe work through a fetish or two. You can take the Butt Quiz for yourself at: http://www.jokesunlimited.com/buttquiz.php |
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