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Attitude, all the way. More than any other area of attraction--conversation, flirting, body language--the approach is considered the most important. What other action so commonly is called an art? Its an art, because there are so many ways to do it. And the guys who approach with the right attitude, are the master painters of seduction. When it comes to approaching women, I do one thing before everything else: I decide what attitude Im going to carry in finding women. Thats right. I invest in the idea of CHOICE. This is a two-fold issue: its about how I choose to approach a situation, and how I choose to approach women. Because if you approach women with the wrong attitude, youre not going to get anyones phone number or first date. Youre gonna spend another night alone. But approach with the right attitude--that, my friend, will lead to all kinds of good things. Including beautiful women. So it all comes down to how you CHOOSE to approach the approach, as it were. A lot of guys invest EVERYTHING into the approach: its black or white, hit or miss, score or fail. Nah, thats not the way to do it. Believe me, girls KNOW when a guy is approaching them out of desperation, out of fear, out of wanting nothing more than sex ASAP. And the guys who choose to go in with those attitudes, FAIL. They dont get a number, they dont get a first date. They get nothing. Compare that with the guys who choose to view approach in a different way: They choose to see approach not as a black or white entry into a womans bedroom, but as an OPPORTUNITY for a chat. A fun time. A chance to get to know someone. Phone number or no phone number, its gonna be a good time. If a girls not into one of these guys, its all good. They move on. Theres no bitterness, no self-pity, no regret. It wasnt meant to be. Their attitude is a positive one, not a negative one. Even if they fail, they bounce right back up again. Even if they dont get a phone number, they still have a good time. Even if they didnt do well, they learn from their mistakes and grow from the encounter. Doesnt that approach to approaching sound a lot better than going in with an attitude that you HAVE to have a great conversation, that you HAVE to get a phone number, that you HAVE to hook up with the girl, otherwise youre a failure? This not only goes a long way towards making you feel better about yourself, but towards actually doing well with girls. When they see youre relaxed, laid back, and confident in yourself--and not relying on them to do something for them--women will be more likely to give you what you want. They see a guy whos not weak, whos not insecure, whos actually positive and fun to be around. Not bad, right? This explains why so many guys who we consider short and ugly do so well with women: they believe in themselves. It all comes down to what choice youre giving to women. Are you making her acceptance of you conditional to your happiness? Is your self-esteem DEPENDENT on her liking you and wanting to have sex with you? Do you create happiness yourself, or let them create (or take it away) happiness for you? Kahlil Gabrin said, We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them. Are you going to choose joy, or are you going to choose sorrow? I think you can tell which approach is better. If theres one person youre going to be dependent on, that person should be YOU. YOU determine your happiness more than anyone...but its a choice. A choice of attitude. None other than Albert Einstein put it best: Take charge of your attitude. Dont let someone else choose it for you. Now lets talk about the choice you make towards women. More than anything else, guys get this area wrong: They dont know whos right for them. That is, they approach EVERYONE! Not the girls who are right for them, not the girls who have personalities theyre actually into. Just anyone they think might be an easy score. Wrong approach! Did you know that the divorce rate is actually higher for people in a second or third marriage than in their first? Why? Because the men and women throw out their idea of choice; in a rush to quash their loneliness and sadness, they choose anyone who will marry them, rather than growing from dating and selecting only a person they REALLY want. One of my all-time favorite quotes is from a guy named Ken Kenny, who says, The more a man can come from a place of choice, two things happen: the higher quality women he will attract, and #2, the more likely the relationship will last, because he wont rush into something that isnt ideal. Get that? Its great to have an ideal women in mind! Think about how time and frustration you can spare yourself by not wasting your time with women who arent your type: too fat, too skinny; too bitchy, too nice; too tall, too short. Approaching is so much easier when you come from a place of choice. So take a minute to paint a picture of your ideal woman. Obviously, no woman is perfect, but if you find someone who seems to have the traits you know you like, and not the traits you know you DONT like, youre bound to have more success with her--in the approach, and in the relationship. Go for quality, not quantity! The choice is simple: When you take the right approach to attitude, and the right approach to who you want to approach, youll get more women, and more importantly, the right women. And thats a winners game! |
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