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Somewhere its especially noticeable (and vital, if you want to be successful) is in the game of attraction and seduction. For a man to pick-up a girl that is: find, approach, talk to her and arrange to take it further he MUST understand and be able to use persuasive psychology. And its that fact many men are surprised by when they hear it that being successful with women isnt a God given talent or a roll of the dice; its a skill like anything else. Today youre going to learn a little about that skill. Were going to look at a special persuasive psychological technique that, when used, massively increases your chances with the ladies. Its called The Add-On Principle. Picture the scene: Youve got talking to a girl and been chatting for a little while. You can tell shes enjoying the conversation and think that shes quite attracted to you, too. You decide youd like to make something happen with this girl and see her again real soon but you arent sure of the best way to go about making that a reality. You dont want to ruin the positive dynamic that youve worked so hard to create and you definitely dont want to scare her off or get rejected. So, what can you do? Well, first of all, what do most guys do when theyre in this situation? Ill tell you, they take one of three routes: Route #1: CLICHD NUMBER REQUEST. The first route has been taken so many millions of times in the past that its nowadays almost an act of parody its asking the girl for her number. Taking this route is, 9 times out of 10, a Plan B at best. When you ask a girl for her number you not only give her control of the situation (which means she can very easily say no or slip you a phoney number), you also highlight that moment of the conversation as what it really is: an attempt at picking her up. When she realises this, shes turned off. No girl likes the idea of being picked-up because it seems sleazy and dangerous. For a girl to allow herself to be picked up, it must feel natural and unforced. Route #2: GOING FOR IT. This routes most often taken at night, in bars, clubs and parties namely because the availability of alcohol makes this option seem a good idea. Going for it means a guy will try to kiss the girl or cop a feel a little while after talking to her. Perhaps hell do it while they dance or as the venue is closing and theyre leaving. Again, its a bad idea because it makes the girl feel used and not in control. Route #3: BOTTLING IT. This option, quite simply, involves choking at the last second being unable to go through with a closer. The conversations gone great but the guy just doesnt feel confident enough to propose meeting up again or something along those lines. As you can imagine, taking this route is a bad idea in regards to being successful with women. So what do you do? The three routes above are bad, so what route can you take? Well, it goes without saying that you HAVE to run the risk of using a closer if you want to see the girl again. Therefore, your goal is to make your offer in whatever form it might take seem like a natural, obvious, fun option for the girl to take. To achieve this, you should justify what youre suggesting with a REASON you should both do it. For example: Lets swap numbers so we can talk about that book we both like. Or, We should get a coffee or hot chocolate some time, because I know a great little place thats just opened and think youd really like it. When you follow up an offer (such as swapping numbers or going for a coffee) with a reason for doing it (to talk about something or because you know a nice little new place) you make the offer seem ATTRACTIVE and a NATURAL thing for the girl to say yes to. This is the essence of The Add-On Principle. When you employ it, try to always use the words So and Because. Our minds, when we hear these words, associate them with good reasons, they back things up for us in our heads. You can use this principle any time you want a suggestion youve made to a girl to be accepted and agreed to. For example: Shall we go over and look at the jukebox, so we can put on some tunes we both like? Youre taking away any hard work the girl needs to do in deciding whether or not she wants to go ahead with what youre suggesting, simply because youve already given her a valid, natural-sounding reason to say YES! Try ityoull be amazed at the results. |
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