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When you say you should do something, what are you really saying? 1. Its an obligation that youre not fond of. We dont talk about how we should do things that we dont feel obligated to do. If we are excited about eating cake, we dont say, I should eat cake. We just do it! However, if we feel obligated to eat celery, it becomes a should. If making cookies for the bake sale is a should, its an obligation. If it were a fun activity, it would be easy for you to just do it. 2. Youre not going to do it and you have an excuse as to why. I should ________________, is usually followed by, but ______________. When you say things like this, you are proclaming to the world that you agree one course of action would be appropriate, and that youre going to do the exact opposite. Imagine how foolish you would sound telling your boss, I know that the appropriate thing to do is to stay late and finish the proposal so I am prepared for tomorrows meeting, and instead of doing that I am going to go home and take the chance of not finishing it before the meeting tomorrow morning. If this is what you really mean, why bother disguising with a should? Deep down, you know whats really going on. 3. You know exactly what you need to do to make things better and you havent started yet! For all of you out there who should stop smoking, who should lose weight, or who should go back to school, you know exactly what you want to do to make your life better for yourself, and youre using should as a lame excuse not to take action! Of course, standing on the sidelines is much easier than running after the ball, but you dont win any games that way. If you have a long list of shoulds and a short list of goals, choose which of those shoulds you will follow through with and put your plans on paper. If instead of feeling that your day is just one thing you should do after another thing you should do, turn your shoulds into definite wills or will nots. While should robs you of power and motivation, will gives you power and resolve to get things done. With fewer shoulds in your vocabulary, youll find yourself speeding along the road to accomplishment. |
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