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GRE考试作文点评：事例排列和陈述
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广告招租，e-mail:yesize@hotmail.com Issue 4 "The video camera provides such an accurate and convincing record of contemporary life that it has become a more important form of documentation than written records." According to the speaker, the video recording is a more important means of document a contemporary life than a written record because video recordings are more accurate and convincing. Although I agree that a video provides a more objective and accurate record of an event’s spatial aspects, there is far more to document a life than what we see and hear(本人觉得这后半句难以理解). Thus the speaker overstates the comparative significance of video as a documentary tool. For the purpose of documenting temporal, spatial events and experiences, I agree that a video record is usually more accurate and more convincing than a written record. It is impossible for anyone, no matter how keen an observer and skilled a journalist, to recount a complete and objective detail such events as the winning touchdown at the Super Bowl, a Ballanchine ballet, the Tournament of Roses Parade, or the scene at the intersection of Florence and Normandy streets during the 1992 Los Angeles riots. Yet these are important events in contemporary life the sort of events we might put up a time capsule for the purpose of capturing our life and times at the turn of this millennium. 此段写得比较平实，主要是列举事例。看来我们也要多多关注时政新闻了，我们也可陈述自己的故事，只要让人明白讲得是什么即可，无非是把Los Angels改成Beijing, Shanghai, Guangzhou……罢了。 The growing documentary role of video is not limited to seminal events like those described above. Video surveillance cameras are objective witnesses with perfect memories. Thus they can play a vital evidentiary role in legal proceedings--such as those involving robbery, drug trafficking, police misconduct, motor vehicle violations, and even malpractice in a hospital operating room. Indeed, whenever moving images are central to an event the video camera is superior to the written word. A written description of a hurricane, tornado, or volcanic eruption cannot convey its immediate power and awesome nature like a video record. A diary entry cannot "replay" that wedding reception, dance recital, or surprise birthday party as accurately or objectively as a video record. And a real estate brochure cannot inform about the lighting,spaciousness, or general ambiance of a featured property nearly as effectively as a video. 我们要学习的是这段里的事例排列，比如一些表达方式：robbery, drug trafficking, police misconduct, motor vehicle violations, and even malpractice in a hospital operating room Nonetheless(很明显的转折句，引出作者的有条件地同意原文观点，partially agree but disagree with reasons), for certain other purposes written records are advantageous to and more appropriate than video records. For example, certain legal matters are best left to written documentation: video is of no practical use to document the terms of a complex contractual agreement, an incorporation, or the establishment of a trust. And video is of little use when it comes to documenting a person’s subjective state of mind, impressions, or reflections of an event or experience. Indeed, to the extent that personal interpretation adds dimension and richness to the record, written documentation is actually more important than video. 个人认为此段应为全文论述的重头戏了，但小米好像并没有给出更多强有力的论述。精华：一些表达——contractual agreement, an incorporation, or the establishment of a trust, a person’s subjective state of mind, impressions, or reflections of an event or experience, personal interpretation adds dimension and richness to the record Finally, a video record is of no use in documenting statistical or other quantitative information. Returning to the riot example mentioned earlier, imagine relying on a video to document the financial loss to store owners, the number of police and firefighters involved, and so forth. Complete and accurate video documentation of such information would require video cameras at every street corner and in every aisle of every store.真太搞笑了，连作者本人自己也承认举了riot example,这是他的优点也是缺点，因为给人的感觉就是事实的堆砌，过于累赘！ In sum, the speaker’s claim overstates the importance of video records, at least to some extent. When it comes to capturing, storing, and recalling temporal, spatial events, video records are inherently more objective, accurate, and complete. However, what we view through a camera lens provides only one dimension of our life and times; written documentation will always be needed to quantify, demystify, and provide meaning to the world around us. Ets仁慈一点的话会给5分的，但我觉得最多4.5，因为毫无特色可言，该详述的没有详述，不该的也流于“水帐”。唯一优点是能在短短的时间内举出n多例子，也难为他啦！我觉得此篇文章更应在written works can record the thoughts of human, which is too abstract as its nature determines to electronic scientific miracles like camera to document.
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